My friend Stephen Uprichard -- given the name "Arshad" by Bhagavan Shree Rajneesh decades before he became of formal devotee of Adi Da Samraj -- died in 2006 of heart failure, at the age of seventy-four. He called me at MOA often in the last half year before he died. Always full of love of Bhagavan, joyously and poignantly expressed. A friend of his in Greenfield, Massachusetts sent me his journals sometime after his vigil there. These are some of his final penned words. He died fourteen days after the last entry.
2-20
I have just met my first-born daughter and her six month old baby boy. They are both quite Beauty-Full. Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I feel You deeply in my true right heart.
2-24
I find myself turning more and more to formal meditation and also moment-to-moment random practice of Ruchira Avatara Bhakti Yoga. And I am less and less calling friends and devotees to chat....
3-26
It's a day when angst is taking me over, and I love You forever, my Lord... That You are here with me is the divine miracle of each moment of each day. Om Da.
3-29
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You forever, my Lord. You gift me with the divine miracle of Your Sacred Presence, and the paramount admonition of being in love with all and all. I choice-lessly recognize the angst as the chalice of exquisite pain that is simply the doorway to the wound of love, which enflames the right, True Heart, and awakens it. Om Shree Da Love-Ananda Hridayam.
4-1
Intoxicated.
4-2
It is time to reflect sincerely on the effect of my daily indulgences, and therefore, the sincerity of my devotional practice. Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You, my Lord.
4-5
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love you forever, my Lord and put my fear of death at Your Feet, Divine Heart-Master, as I recognize the best years of my life peaked by the Divine Grace of Your Miraculous Presence. I love You, my Lord. Om Da.
4-18
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You forever, my Lord. And I notice that when push comes to shove -- and body-mind is threatened -- my devotional responsibilities are pretty much forgotten. This fact I lay at Your Feet, my Lord.
4-22
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. It seems, regardless of my words, that I am a coward and also deeply confused by the schizophrenia of nonetheless wanting to melt into Your Heart, my Lord. Om Da.
4-24
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. I am sending prayers of love to my first-born, Helene, who has been quite upset with me for the years of my absence. I send all my love as Your devotee, Beloved Satguru. Om Da.
4-26
Beloved Avataric Buddha, Adi Da Samraj, I love You forever. I feel quiet and at some peace, my Lord. Meanwhile, True Purpose shines thru the clouds. Om Da.
4-28
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death, and as I continue indulgences, on each of these occasions I will continue to invoke the 1st and 2nd Invocation, thereby recognizing that I am disregarding You, Beloved Satguru. Om Da.
5-4
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, Divine Avataric Buddha, I love You forever, my Lord. You tell me a vision of softening the human hardness which moment-to-moment seems frozen like an oblong ego-egg, rooted in a square of ice. It is the fetus of the foul. Thank You forever for the Prasad. Om Da.
5-6
Beloved Crazy Da, you tell me the sacred words to sing the song of my weaker side. Along with basics of conductivity and the prayer of remembrance, You Grace my right heart with Your Divine Gift of forgetting, as only the God of Striped Umbrellas has the Courage -- and the obviously Infinite Appetite for -- my Lord, Om Da.
5-18
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. Entheos ad infinitum. You tell me to self love completely, and so I am self-healed. Thank You forever for the Awesome Divine Gift and Miracle of Your God-Man Spirit, Arising in the mud of human experience. I kiss Your Holy Feet, my Lord. Om Da.
6-4
Happy day, my Lord. I love You Forever. Om Da.
6-18
I offer the Prayer of Changes, my Lord, that both of my young adult sons will see and hear and listen to Your Divine Wisdom Teaching, and melt into Your Heart, my Lord. Om Da.
7-22
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, it is lovely to suddenly have Darshan frequently once again. I feel a deep, new stage of my practice and my devotional relationship to You, my Lord. I love You Forever. Om Da.
7-24
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever, and I offer the Prayer of Changes that I may stop smoking, my Lord. Om Da.
7-26
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever. Today I quit smoking. Om Da, my Lord.
7-27
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You. I am a bit numb, my Lord -- You have thrown this one into much deeper water.
8-2
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever, and I offer the Prayer of Changes that we may be successful in beginning to transform the physical domain of human experience through the successful efforts to bring Low Energy Transmutation to the world. Om Da.
8-11
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. May I clear the path to residence at Adida Samrajashram. Om Da, my Lord.
8-19
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I am a pretender. I offer the Prayer of Changes that this body-mind may truly, completely melt into Your Heart -- now I must begin to practice those words. Om Da.
2-25
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, You have Blessed me many times, my Lord and Master. This sweet woman, Your beloved devotee, is sitting in her Victorian, claw-footed bathtub... fucking my head. And I'm quite satisfied with my feelings about that. And I just Love her. Thank You so much, my Lord. I love You forever. Om Da.
3-1
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. This morning I humbly request a Prayer for Changes that may provide me Your Divine Grace to overcome the unconscious violent behavior of Governor Romney of Massachusetts. Om Da.
3-30
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever. This day You have Bestowed a Sacred Puja for me to come home to the Mountain. Thank you, Ever and Ever, my Lord. Om Da.
4-1
Divine Heart-Master, the Puja Stands. And the Puja Stands. I love You forever, Lord and Master. Om Da.
4-29
Now I am tired, my Beloved Lord and Master, so I sing good night, Sweet Divine Prince and fare Thee Well. Om Da.
6-1
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Endlessly, my Lord. This night I do not have many words. You, of course, finally make verbal expression unnecessary, as You bring being in love to all and all. Om Da.
6-8
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever, my Lord and Master. I have stated to You that I don't know how to love You. And so I recognize that I am love and being in love, therefore, I fall into Your Heart. Om Da.
7-25
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever -- and owing to the ongoing grossest indulgences -- my love is not as True as it might be otherwise. Om Da.
p.s. I was very attracted to a devotee woman during Sunday's Celebration of Guru Purnima.
11-22
Beloved Adi Da Samraj, I love You Forever Beyond death. At this season, grateful people give thanks for the gifts of body, mind, and spirit, and so gain health, strength, and love of God for an easy Path, and longevity in their final years. Thank you all. Namaste.
1-19
It broke my heart when you suddenly disappeared from my life. It was a joy to see you now recently. I'd love to chat. I may be gone soon.
xoxo
rejoice in god
in the company of men
of humor and love
good company
blessed company
mystic's vision of the divine rising,
endless company
live in a place
of cooperation and trust
a world without cancer....
a village of peace....
camelot
as for the rest
be watchful
manly, womanly
and without illusion
-- Arshad
